Written by Kevin Nelson
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Friday, 7 June 2013

image for Vatican Official Claims to Have Exorcised 160K Demons: Demons File Class Action Suit
Demons sue Vatican for being evicted without a court order and for sexual harassment.

Fr. Gabriel Amorth, The Head of International Association of Exorcists which is a Vatican sanctioned organization has recently made the claim that he has rid the world of 160,000 demons and sent them back to Hell. Fr. Amorth was one of the exorcists who attempted to rid Angel V. who is a Mexican father of two and who was recently blessed by Pope Francis in the hopes to ridding him of his four demons. According to a statement by Angel V. The demons have refused to vacate but acknowledges that he is now able to walk after the Pope Francis' blessing.

A spokesman for the demons, His Infernal Eminence Anton Zuckman of the Satanic Church of America filed a class action suit against Fr. Gabriel Amorth and the Vatican on behalf of the 160K demons for sexual harassment and loss of livelihood and wages. The suit contends that the poor demons were the subject of taunts, verbal abuse, religious discrimination as well as unwarranted sexual advances. The plaintiffs claim the exorcists made disturbing comments to them such as: "come here little boys" and "do want to play a special game." The demons claim they were so creeped out by their advances and that they fled back to hell for their personal protection. One demon who wishes to remain anonymous said he's developed a fear of the dark which is detrimental to his livelihood and self-esteem as a demon. The suit also contends the Vatican violated their first amendment rights by targeting them due to their religious affiliation. The four demons who refuse to leave Mr. Angel V. have also joined the suit claiming they are being evicted without a court order to do so and that they are also claiming it would be disruptive to their lifestyle.

The Vatican calls the claims made by the demons preposterous and without any justification. Fr. Gabriel Amorth is quoted as saying, "How can anyone believe that anyone in the Church would engage in any of these allegations? Who are you going to believe the Church or these demons? The Vatican's legal counsel has not released a statement at this time but sources in the Church's New York Headquarters claim that the paper shredders have been working overtime.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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