Written by Aspartame Boy
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 20 May 2013

image for Americant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin
Empty cabin on a recent Americant flight

Spokesman Ann T. Sociale of Americant Airlines revealed a new price structure for domestic flights. The move is thought by staff here to be in response to a recent policy shift by another well known airline favoring passengers that do not bring bags into the cabin.

According to Ms Sociale, passengers can still fly in the cabin, but will have to pay an additional $500.00, for each landing and take-off, in cash, to the stewardess. Passengers short of funds will be stuffed down the access-way to the baggage compartment, where economy accommodations are now allocated.

To further discourage cabin occupation, toilets will no longer flush and will be cleaned only after every 100,000 miles of flight.

UPDATE - New Toilet facilities below decks

Toilet facilities in the baggage compartment cum economy seating area now consists of a hole in the floor. Passengers must squat over this whole as the 600 mile per hour winds suck out excrement and blow it into the intake of the jet engines. Believe it or not, this actually increases mileage, according to the pictured stewardess.

Make Aspartame Boy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

8 2 11 13

Go to top ^