Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 3 May 2013

image for Churchill Downs crop circle predicts Kentucky Derby 1-2-3
The winner is wearing his distinctive sheepskin nose band

Louisville, KY - One of the year's first extraterrestrial field etchings has appeared overnight at the world famous racetrack's saddling enclosure ahead of Saturday's 139th renewal of the Kentucky Derby.

Groundsmen said this morning they'd noticed a crop circle-like phenomenon in the shape of a Parimutuel Trifecta slip carved into the lush green Louisville turves.

Their decryption points to the John Terranova II-trained 50/1 shot Falling Sky to beat Claude McGaughey III's 4/1 favorite Orb in a short head photo-finish with Kenneth McPeek's Frac Daddy five lengths behind in third place.

"ET sure knows a thing or two when it comes to thoroughbred racing, heheh," a stable hand commented, "and $100 says I'll be winning a huge fortune backing his tip."

Responding to the news online oddsmaker Aintgottaprayer.con immediately increased the remaining field's prices as the prospects of massive anti-post gamble loomed.

Meanwhile the smart money's going on the Todd Pletcher-trained No 10 Palace Malice named after Queen Elizabeth's personal racing strategy.

The bay colt has shortened from 25/1 to 14/1 and the online bookmaker reckons a whole lot more money will be bet on the runner before the starting stall gates slam shit. Er, shut.

D Wayne Lucas is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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