Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Congress, Washington

Friday, 15 September 2006

image for Colon Bowel slams Bush's attempt to suborn Congress
"Back off, it ain't my fault"...

Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): Former US Secretary of State General Colon Bowel has slammed his former boss George Bush's efforts to blackmail the Senate to vote-in continued Guantanamo Bay's IRA-style internment for beardie Taleban smack fiends as being a no-brainer in the war for votes in the forthcoming mid-term elections.

In a stinging attack on the Administration's attempt to erode whatever is left of the US's committment to the Geneva Convention, Bowel criticised the White House's accelerating turf war for control of lucrative opium routes out of Afghanistan by reminding Republicans that Amendments to the American Constitution expressly forbade uncomptetitive restrictive practices relating to foreign trading rights.

This included the forcible interrogation of narcotics prisoners who had been enlisted to protect their country's terriotiral trading rights as specified by countless UN resolutions pertaining to World Trade Organization-approved commercial agreements.

But his words cut no ice with Bush, the hardened former Cuban hit man who was thrown out of the KGB in the early 1970s for public remarks describing ex-Soviet Union President Nikita Khruschev as a "clap-infested ass-licker in the pay of the P2 Lodge's narcotics dealing directorate".

Bush immediately hit back ater news of the stinging criticism reached his cohorts in the men's room of the East Wing where incomprehension at such betrayal by his formerly loyal henchman soon turned to bitter venom.

In a thinly-veiled counter-attack, Bush told the White House Press corpse that suborning Congress was a long-time American bi-partisan tradition that was perfected under previous Administrations during times of acute political crisis when the CIA, FBI and Pentagon had acquired enough evidence to lock up the incumbent Administration for the rest of their lives on charges of Grand Treason.

And that the moral basis for his War Against Terra was an all-abiding personal determination to stay out of the path of the looming electric chair which was clearly the only exit strategy left to him after sixty-odd years of criminal activity on a global scale unexceeded even by his own blood-sire General Augusto Pinochet.

The exchange of remarks has been widely reported around the world and in the UK bookmakers are now posting odds of 5/4FAV that Bowel's tongue-lashing of the feckless White House louse will result in a military coup-d'etat deposing his vile Administration 'within the next few days at the maximum'.

General Pinichet, 91, remains under house arest in Santiago, Chile, on charges of genocide, corruption and crimes against humanity.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 4?

2 14 17 20

Go to top ^