Written by Evan Essence
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 11 September 2006

image for Schwarzenegger and his Dumbells
The Chameleon-like politician

Sacramento, California
Last year the Department of Homeland Security detained Arnold Schwarzenegger, for questioning, because he had threatened to "Blow up the Boxes of Government". However, this year, in a political about-face, Schwarzenegger has announced that he will live in those Boxes of Government, instead.

Commentators throughout the world have expressed amazement at Schwarzenegger's chameleon-like personna, and at the gullibility of Californian's who have elected a movie actor...with no knowledge or understanding of politics...as their governor.

Harvard professor of political science, Barney Hampton, noted recently, that "an actor is someone who, by definition, is good at portraying himself as someone other than who he really is. That is really all an actor does."

Schwarzenegger, he points out, is simply following a script written by wealthy insurance and drug company tycoons, who are his primary campaign contributors. If the political tide turns, as it did when all of his favorite legislative proposals were rejected by the public, earlier this year, Schwarzenegger's script is simply re-written, to create a new and more appealing super-hero.

During the Republican convention, Schwarzenegger was cozying up to George Bush. Now, that Bush's reputation has become that of an arrogant, dishonest, and corrupt politician...Schwarzenegger is pretending he never knew him. And most Californian's believe him.

In his original campaign, Schwarzenegger crusaded against government deficit spending, but when he got into office, he proposed a massive government bondÂ….in other words increased government deficit spending. In his campaign, Schwarzenegger promised he would accept no money from special interest groups. However, he then proceeded to accept more special interest money than any politician in California history. Few people noticed, because Californians are used to the "suspension of disbelief" that allows Hollywood film superheroes to escape from any situation with cinematographic sleight-of-hand.

California has justly earned the nick-name of "the Mickey Mouse State". Most Californians would rather sit on the beach, with a beer, than show up for work. They are so used to the adulation of movie stars, that when Schwarzenegger rolls out Snow White, Goofy, and the Disneyland Dancing Band, they all applaud, and munch from their boxes of popcorn.

Professor Hampton added, "There is a general strategy of the Republican Party, to turn their political leaders into a farcical comedy show, to try to keep people from taking politics, and their future, too seriously. George Bush, with his practiced idiocy, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, with his gaseous humor, are working together to dumb down the electorate, so that corporate interests can bilk the public out of billions of dollars.

Make Evan Essence's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

5 12 25 23

Go to top ^