BILLINGSGATE POST - A diseased Yak spending his last days in an assisted living corral in Billings, Montana called upon Health Secretary Kathleen Sebelious to grant him Obamacare so that he could spend his last days in what he calls "Yak dignity."
Antwon, who upon migrating over the frozen tundra of Siberia, boarded an ice flow that accessed him across the freezing waters of the Bering Sea whereupon he reached the most western tip of Alaska in 2001. From there he plodded to Anchorage where he sought and received asylum.
Eventually ended up in Billings, Montana, Antwon used a small business loan to open up a Yak milk shake and coffee shop that did very well until Starbucks opened their shop directly across the street from his.
Offering a concoction that used the shavings from the antlers of menstruating caribou and Kona coffee beans, Starbucks eventually drove him out of business and into bankruptcy.
With his business going down the tube, Antwon's health began to deteriorate, eventually forcing him into an assisted-living facility. With no other options left, he is calling upon Kathleen Sebelius to allow Obamacare to fund his final days on earth, a seemingly small request from a nation known for its compassionate giving.
Please don't let this Yak down. Call Kathleen Sebelius and let her know that if we allow some nameless bureaucrats to pull the plug on Antwon, we may be next.