Written by CaptainSausage
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Topics: Guns, NRA, gun control

Monday, 25 March 2013

image for Another tragic US gun shooting
Guns don't kill people, people with guns kill people!

In the USA, a man went on a shooting rampage today at an office block in the small town of Des Trois, New York, where he shot dead five of his colleagues. Upon leaving the building, however, he was then gunned down by another man who was on a completely separate shooting rampage.

The second gunman was cornered after a couple of hours by police marksmen, where he was then shot dead by a stray bullet from a nearby rifle range.

The total death toll was fourteen people, making this the 3rd most deadly tragic shooting incident of the year. However, official police statistics count it as two separate incidents, and individually both shootings fail to even make it into the top ten.

The NRA have responded positively to the news. Head spokesman Hillary Tard whooped "Yee-haw!" and ordered a twenty gun salute. He claims that the shootings prove that the NRA's policy of arming everyone in the US is working. "You see, the only thing that can stopped an armed gunman is another armed gunman. And this proves it!"

Mr Tard finished, "Let's go celebrate!" and walked off firing bullets into the air at random, before he was himself shot dead by a passing gunman on a rampage.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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