Written by John Langlois
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Thursday, 7 September 2006

image for Bush Blames Global Warming on Commie Gas
"The Commies Cut One!"

Upon hearing the news report that read "Methane, a gas 20 times more potent than carbon dioxide in trapping heat in the atmosphere, appears to be bubbling up from thawing permafrost at a rate five times faster than originally measured, scientists reported Wednesday.
The effect, reported in this week's issue of the journal Nature, is seen mostly in Siberia in a type of carbon-rich permafrost that was flash frozen about 40,000 years ago. A new, more accurate measuring technique found that methane bubbling from that permafrost under Siberian lakes was higher than previously recorded."

President Bush burst out laughing. "Methane.. that's farts isn't it?" the president said.
"The Commies have been "sitting" on this for years, he chuckled and now it's SBD, "Siberian Butt Deadly." The president bent over laughing at his own joke.
Having recently denied that Bush favors flatulent humor, White House aides were perplexed as to how to react to this event.

"We can't get him to stop. It's like he's trapped in the 6th grade doing butt and fart jokes," an aid responded.

"Guess, we can pronounce his name "Pootin" instead of "Pewtin" the President guffawed, while speaking of the Russian leader. "Call him and tell him not to light a match."

When told that Prime Minister Tony Blair was calling to inform him that the methane volume was much larger than anyone expected, Bush retorted "them that smelt it, dealt it," and burst into a fit of giggles.

Picking up the phone he said, "Hey, Blair.. What is the sharpest thing in the world? A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole."

A stunned Prime Minister cleared his throat. "Ugh, President Bush, don't you think we should get to the bottom of this matter."

"Hell, son, that's what I'm trying to avoid," Bush
chortled. "That's the loaded end."

He went on, "Hey, Blair, "What do you call a fart? A turd honking for the right of way."

By now the President was in tears and the silence on the other end of the phone belied the participation of Mr. Blair.

Anxious to make the President's preoccupation seem normal, White House aides ran around shouting "Pull my finger" and "I got a bullfrog in my pants."

Many reporters were so startled that they just sat down. A mistake, given the whoopie cushions inserted in their chairs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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