Written by Evil
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

image for Donald Trump to Build Artificial Real Estate Lawyer
Donald Trump breaks the glass ceiling in the real estate world.

Donald Trump, the celebrity real-estate magnate, is embarking on a legal enterprise that will revolutionize the efficiency of his Real Estate business dealings. He will be creating an Artificial Real Estate Lawyer that will help him expand his financial empire.

"Nothing like this has ever been attempted," says Trump Lawyer Alan Garten who is handling the $400 million dollar project.

The project includes the purchase of several hundred Watson computers from IBM that will be connected to a networking system in several corporate buildings across the world.

The Watson Law RealEstateX20 will be the first computer of it's kind that's capable of connecting real life business conditions to legal and financial outcomes and judicial proceedings.

The X20 as it has been named by Trump corporate managers will perform a series of calculations based on questions asked of it to determine the best legal and financial approach available to develop, or to purchase real estate in several countries around the world.

Watson is an artificial intelligence computer system capable of answering questions given by human language. The Watson X20 will be specifically developed to think like Donald Trump, but with a real estate legal data base to help improve all financial decisions.

What normally takes hundreds of lawyers, economists, accountants, and real estate developers several months to research and solve will only take the Watson X20 approximately four seconds to solve.

The Watson X20 has access to 200 million pages of structured and unstructured legal content and economic data consuming four terabytes of disk storage including the full contents of Federal and State law books, with yearly updates. It contains federal court procedures, the court procedures for every state, criminal and civil procedures, judicial opinions, case laws, and precedence attributed to each particular court across the United States as it pertains to real estate.

The data base of the Watson X20 also includes all the real estate laws and economic data of several countries where Trump has real estate holdings. Germany, France, Panama, England, Brazil, Canada, Australia, Poland, Italy, and America are a few of the countries that the Watson X20 will analyze for potential real estate profits.

Trump expects to expand his real estate empire with the Watson X20, to get more control over his competition, to improve the efficiency of his corporations, to save millions on legal cost, to get competent legal and economic advice quickly, and to help aide his team of lawyers and financial managers, so they can stay honest and forthcoming with solutions.

The Watson X20 was put up against the nation's top real estate lawyers in mock trails and moot courts to test it's abilities. It won every mock trail and moot court it came across with no errors, dismaying the legal team it went up against.

Make Evil's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 1?

2 22 14 3

Go to top ^