Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 19 March 2013

image for Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times
Delaware will pay male citizens up to 95 percent of the cost of condoms.

DOVER, Delaware - The East Coast state of Delaware has just passed a bill that will require all males between the ages of 18 and 48 to wear condoms at all times.

According to state spokesperson Pandora P. Hissyheimer, 61, the bill was passed due to the fact that 65 percent of couples who were on the verge of engaging in sex did not use condoms.

This was due to the fact that it simply took too much time to stop what they were doing and drive to a store and buy some prophylactics as they call condoms in Maryland.

Ms. Hissyheimer, who is presently separated from her husband of 37 years, also pointed out that many of the convenience stores did not carry rubbers as they call condoms in New Jersey.

So as a result the state birth rate rose 19 percent from 2011 to 2012. Studies showed that if the situation is not addressed the birth rate in Delaware could go up to 27 percent from 2012 to 2013.

State Senator Cybil Pribbapatski, 55, [D-Dover] stated that she has introduced a Condom Assistance Bill (CAB-1307) which will provide male citizens of Delaware with up to 95 percent of the cost of condoms.

She stated that all a male has to do is prove that he is a citizen of Delaware and is between the ages of 18 and 48.

He must also provide a valid drivers license, present his last two pay stubs, and swear that he will use the condom assistance voucher to buy condoms and not beer, wine, cigarettes, or M&M's.

In Other News. Paris Hilton recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and told her that she is depressed about all of the publicity that Lindsay Lohan receives. Hilton revealed that the last time she was contacted by a member of the entertainment media was the day before Valentine's Day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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