Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 5 February 2013

image for Mary Todd Lincoln's DNA Found In New Mexico
Penny Lane in Liverpool was named after the American one cent coin. (Photo taken by Ringo Starr).

RUIDOSO, New Mexico - A group of archaeologists from Delaware stumbled upon an interesting find just outside of the town of Ruidoso, which is noted for its Gila Monster Grilled Burritos.

Kiki Lily Chillydutch, 21, with the Delaware group stated that they were searching the area for dinosaur fossils and instead found what has turned out to be an amazing discovery.

She noted that right between two Maguey Plants her and her ex-boyfriend Frumpus Roofinsetti, Jr., 28, noticed a shiny object.

As Frumpus got down on his knees to take a closer look, he noticed that the object was a Lincoln Penny. After wiping off some of the caked on dirt, he said that he could clearly see the date on it which was 1863.

He took the 150 year old penny to Sal's Money Exchange Shop in Ruidoso.

Sal Turfellano, 64, had the penny tested and the test established the fact that the 1863 penny had traces of DNA that belonged to Abraham Lincoln's wife Mary Todd Lincoln.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up Ryan Seacrest who spoke with the nation's top expert on old pennies Gunther Giggle of Detroit, and he stated that an 1863 penny with Mary Todd Lincoln's DNA is worth around $17.3 million.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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