Written by Ducksley
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Topics: Gasoline

Friday, 1 February 2013

The arrival of the summer driving is still months away, so why are gasoline prices rising? That's the question we posed to oil industry representative Marvus Danderlogg, who explained that there are numerous reasons behind the recent spike at the pump.

"First, we're in the process of changing from winter blend to the spring blend, which requires a lot of blending. Plus mixing. Mixing and blending. I think they even have to hand-stir it with a big boat oar.

"The spring blend also has more stuff in it, which costs a lot more but is worth it. Also, a couple hundred people around the country who were laid off found new jobs recently, so they're driving more and that affects supply.

"In addition, we hate to do it, but we typically have to do maintenance on all the refineries at the same time for some reason, so there's another supply issue. And, oh yeah, one time there was a fire at a refinery."

Danderlogg predicts that prices will remain high until they go down again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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