Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Zombies

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

image for Dead People Playing Dead Extras Demand More Diverse Roles
I have nice white teeth,

Hollywood has now been struck by a new ballyhoo. Dead people who have for decades been playing the dead extras in so many of Hollywood's blockbuster movies are demanding more diverse roles than that of playing a dead person.

This does bode well for Lindsay Lohan.

The dead actors' guild of Dead As Dead (DAD) has threatened to strike from Hell to Heaven unless their demands of being allowed to become animated, get Pepsi commercial promotions and be allowed to sit next to Jack Nicholson at Los Angeles Lakers games are met.

Hollywood executives are livid absolutely livid!

Even they are not allowed to sit next to Jack Nicholson at Los Angeles Lakers games.

"All we want is recognition", exclaimed dead guy Johnny Rotten. "Honestly, I've been in this business for 40 years now and I think it's time for me to be given a role that is not a dead person. I mean, c'mon, I've starred in 20 zombie films man! Hell, the worst one was when I played a dead zombie in Cute Bikini Girls Get Eaten by Zombies. I played the guy who got his brains shot out. I never had a chance to eat any of those cute bikini girls".

"Geez, the other actors didn't have a clue how to properly eat them. I mean, c'mon man!"

Dead actor Damn Stinking in the Sun had this to say:

"Okay, now Avatar was a really fucking awesome film to be a dead guy in, I agree. It gave me exposure and a sense to what is was like to be a dead guy under a tree".

"But honestly, when I got stuck being one of Katherine Heigl stiff's in One for the Money I knew that I was really dead".

"Man I can't even get a job shining Satan's pitchfork now".

DAD union representative Elied T. Me stated:

"Everything is going to work out just fine. Hollywood knows that they cannot work without dead people, honestly, just look at their CEOs, they know".

"Hey we can show them that we stink more than they stink."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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