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Saturday, 15 July 2006

image for Plame sues yellowcake fruitcakes
Yellowcake or fruitcake?

Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Plamegate scandal took a controversial twist last night as embattled former CIA agent Valerie Plame filed a civil lawsuit against Vice-President Dick Cheney and his minion Bonesmen in the White House over yellowcake slurs that outed her as the spooky wife of ex-US Ambassador Joseph Wilson.

The lawsuit alleges Cheney started a whispering campaign against her after Wilson told the UN Security Council that the Bush Administration's foreign policy was psychotically deranged and that the President had was "back on the sauce" after his Federal Reserve nominee-chairman and Enron CEO Ken Lay brought down the Texan energy giant in the wake of 9/11.

Documents filed quote Plame as saying that: "I and my former CIA colleagues trusted our government to protect us from convicted Cuban mafia gangsters who slimed their way into the White House in November 2000 posing as bona fide members of the Bush and Cheney family.

"Then a few feckless individuals within that administration betrayed this trust and used us to spread puerile Bonesmen's fantasies about yellowcake stockpiles in Saddam's weapons' larder.

"And all the time they were screwing over the UN by stealing the Oil-for-Fraud Iraqi petro-dollar billions and laundering it into the undeclared offshore bank accounts of fellow Bonesmen all over the world."

News of the lawsuit was greeted with delight in the UK where CIA counterparts in both MI5 and MI5 smiled broadly when questioned by the press about whether any incriminating documents in their own possession might find their way to Ms Plame and Mr Wilson's legal attorneys.

In particular, deleted e-mails from Tony Blair's PC - once portrayed in public as imprevious to bugging - to the President, egging him on to screw over Ambassador Wilson for daring to rubbish No 10 Downing Street's shocking yellowcake findings that became the basis for justification of a war against Saddam.

The civil lawsuit against Dick Cheney, his ex-aide Lewis Libby and official presidential fantasist Karl Rove also alleges that the Justice Department deleted security and intelligence files on these convicted gangsters' criminal pasts after Nancy Reagan threatened to publish her memoirs detailing the disgusting sordid past of President George Bush Senior and his blood-ties to descendants of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin.

In particular details about Bush Senior's attempts at a military coup d'etat in the United Kingdom in 1976 which would have ousted PM Harold Wilson and installed Bush's blood mother Violet Freeman Geli - the actress hired by the Tory/Labour co-alition in September 1940 to impersonate the Queen Mother after the King, his wife and eldest daugher perished in a luftwaffe attack on Buck House - as Queen Regnant, giving him the keys to the Tower of London jewel house and the coffers in the Bank of England.

US commentators have noted that the lawsuit is likely to be protracted and bloody awful - and perfectly timed for the mid-term election scheduled for November.

There was no response to the news of the lawsuit from the President today, who had flown to St Petersburg early on in the week for a private vodka-tasting session with Vladimir Sputum ahead of the G8 summit-or-other that begins on Sunday.

"This fruitcake's got egg all over his face in the yellowcake fiasco", said one press commentator as the world's cameras began to focus on the diplomatic circus unfolding in Russia this weekend.

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