Las Vegas, NV-- Dozens of photos of Prince Harry doing the hokey-pokey with an ugly, aged spinster are expected to be published by the end of this week. Torrid photos of the prince with a Miss Vicky Smegma of Philadelphia should be enough to get Prince Harry kicked out of the royal family forever.
Prince Harry and Miss Smegma met by accident at the Flea-Bag Casino in Las Vegas. Harry only went into the seedy resort to use the men's room. He bumped into Miss Smegma and spilled a cup of coffee she was drinking all over herself. Always the gentleman, Prince Harry whipped out a handkerchief and began sponging the coffee off of Miss Smegma's blouse. Their eyes met and it was love at first sight.
Miss Vicky then escorted Prince Harry upstairs to her flea infested room. The couple french-kissed on the elevator on the way there, much to the disgust of bystanders. Miss Smegma had an inexpensive camera with a self timer on it, and used it to take the outrageous photos. A nasty hotel maid then stole the camera and sold the photos for millions of dollars.
Those who have seen the photos say they are unbelievable.
"Oh my God, I'm going to bloody vomit! She's 77 bloody years old!" shouted Prince Charles after seeing some of the photos. "They say love is blind, but is it also insane??" he wondered.
Prince Harry has confided in friends that he is in love and intends to marry Miss Smegma. All of his friends have begged him to seek professional help.
"Why should I??" replied Prince Harry. "Where else am I going to find someone with such sexy wrinkles??"
Follow us on Twitter