Reports leaked to the press this afternoon from anonymous sources within the White House confirm that President Barack Obama received a late night email last night from God. They confirm that this was not the first time.
According to the source God emailed the following: "Barack, "I gave you Ryan, I gave you Aiken, I gave you a hurricane in Tampa! Geeesh! Man, you know I am with you all the way, but dude I have a few other things on my plate. You just don't know what a cluster mess it gets to be up here. Yea, Yea, I know I made you black. OK, it looked like that was going to be a problem but you know how I work man, what seems to be a downside can be just the thing that clicks. You did a good job with that dude and I am proud of you for it!
According to the source, God put a little smiley face in the email and continued: "So look man, You've got to fly on your own for the next nine weeks, I can't just keep on with this baby sitting. Here's the deal: Do the best you know how, put Michelle out front, get Slick Willy to do his voodoo that he does so well, and if in the last week it doesn't look good, I'll' go with the Romney--- homo, Muslim, commie pervert thingie!