New York, NY-- Once there were billions, but now there is only one. It seems like everyone has finally ditched Facebook, except for one last person--a pathetic 81 year-old virgin named Miss Vicky Smegma.
"Where did everybody go!" said the clueless Miss Smegma. The friendless octogenarian still plans her empty days around the failed Facebook. "Why doesn't anyone respond to my interesting comments anymore??" she said to herself.
Everyone that was on Facebook soon figured out it was nothing more than an annoying waste of time--and an instrument for government spying. Most people dropped out years ago, leaving only weirdos and lost souls behind. Now, even they have left, leaving only one emotionally retarded loser with a Facebook account.
"Don't you want to hear what I ate for breakfast today?? I ate two boiled eggs and then I drank a cup of coffee!" typed Miss Smegma onto her Facebook page.
No one responded.