Written by Andy Kansas
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Friday, 17 August 2012

image for Angry Father Speaks Out Against Huggies Ad Campaign
Lazy Bastard

Thomas Johnson, a resident of Bartlesville, OK, has decided to voice his opinion in light of the recent Huggies ad campaign depicting loving fathers easily taking care of their children, without the help and supervision of their wives.

While some dads have expressed concern with how they portray dads as somewhat "buffoonish," Thomas' outrage runs much deeper.

"It's not about what the dad can and cannot do." Thomas told us in an interview.
"It's about who they ignored. They cater to only one type of dad. I want to ask them 'What about the rest of us? What about me?'"

When asked to elaborate he told us: "Well... dad's who hate their kids. It's not fair that we have to put up with this nonsense. I've got three kids, two five-year-old twin girls and an eighteen-month-old boy. And I hate them. They're stupid, they smell, they're generally filthy creatures, and they're lazy deadbeats. I mean I've been supporting them their whole life."

Thomas has been in constant contact with dozens of fathers who feel the same way. Robert Elliot, of Mount Vernon, OH, has a three-month-old baby girl and had this to say: "I think Tom is doing the right thing. I mean, look at him, he's just a guy who said 'Listen Hollywood... YOU SUCK!' Ya know?"

"The other dad's and I have been throwing ideas around and we've formed an organization specifically for dad's like us. It's called 'Dad's Exhibiting Anger Toward Huggies' or DEATH for short." Thomas explained. "We didn't really think about the acronym before we printed the business cards and ordered the shirts."

Thomas has brought to light some chilling revelations. Infant and toddler unemployment is virtually 100%. Is it fair that these children act as leaches to their parents? Most would say "Yes." But most people didn't vote for John McCain.

The world needs more men like Thomas Johnson. I think this man has taught me how to hate my kids a little more.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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