Written by plinth course
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Topics: Florida, Jeb Bush

Monday, 26 June 2006

image for Pie Frenzie Boils Over
Tube Steak Not Depicted

Tallahassee -- Jeb Bush, Governor of Florida, announced today the promotion of Key Lime pie to state status. "You got your state bird and flower, now you got your pie," he said at the press conference.

"Why the Key Lime pie IS Florida, you know. See, we got the Keys down here and limes, been making the pies forever. Why shouldn't we make it official. It's a natural," he said to a perplexed assemblage of reporters. He further offered, "Just the taste makes you think of Florida, you know, that slightly bitter but sickening sweet combo. Kind of like swamp water and Disney Land!"

Now the competition is heating up among various governors with announcements flying fast and furious. A spokesperson for Arkansas has come forward to claim the "Moon Pie" as its very own. Christina Rae, speaking for the Goveror's office said, "Florida can claim that slimey, limey thing all they want, but NO pie is more deliciious than our own Moon Pie. 'Moon Pie and a R.C. cola' we used to say, when R.C was around...well, anyway we're gonna stake our claim NOW, before Mississippi gets its. We beat 'em in education, now we''ll crush 'em with the Moon Pie!" Her uncontrollable giggling followed her out of the room, as she triumphantly held the "delicacy" high above her head.

Not to be outdone, other State House representatives have come forward to claim their own state 'baked good.' A list is now circulating that should prove to be quite a challenge to the political elites of the various states as they jockey for position. So far there are several entries:


Alaska -- Eskimo

Massachusetts -- Boston Cream Pie

Tennessee -- Chicken Pot Pie

Iowa -- Cow Pie

California -- Tube Steak

Georgia -- Hair Pie

North Carolina -- Sweetie Pie

Washington, D.C. -- Pork Pie

New York -- Quiche

Unaccountably, Kentucky is competing for the Boston Cream Pie. "Hey, it ain't nothin' but a banana cream. Just added cake, took out the bananas, put in pudding and smeared chocolate all over it. That's all they did. How come they can claim it?" mused "Just Jeff " of the Governor's Promotional Office.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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