Written by Lyndon
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Thursday, 5 July 2012

image for White Americans celebrate their freedom from the British, while blacks are left wondering what all the nonsense is about
July 4, 1776: Free at last...at least for the whites!

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans celebrated their country's 236th birthday today with fireworks displays, parades, family cookouts, and really shitty American beer.

Nevermind that one in four Americans is not able to explain from whom the United States declared independence over two centries ago, many of them guessing that it was the Germans.

However, that means that 75% of Americans knows that it was that dastardly British crown that had squeezed America's testicles so tightly that the 13 colonies had to declare that they were states united as one loosely connected body. Truth be told, they hated each other, didn't have a common currency for the nation's first 16 years, and had no fewer than eight capital cities in its first quarter century of history.

That America's declaration of freedom from British control took place in 1776 seems awfully interesting in light of the fact that Great Britain had outlawed slavery in 1772.

African Americans would declare their independence some 90 years later.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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