Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Wednesday, 4 July 2012

image for Anthony Weiner Loses Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest:  Claims Winner Ate His Weiner By Mistake
Hot Dog

BILLINGSGATE POST - Disgraced Congressman Anthony Weiner entered Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island hoping to redeem himself by eating more weiners than the other contestants. Instead, he created another controversy by claiming that Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, who won the contest for the sixth consecutive time, grabbed his weiner and scarfed it down, bun and all, distracting the congressman who was on his 22nd hot dog at the time.

Chestnut, who won $10,000 and a mustard champion's belt, proved how unstoppable he is on the competitive eating circuit, beating runner-up, Tim Janus, 68-52 in the contest that lasts 10 minutes.

Anthony Weiner, besides having his own weiner eaten, finished well out of the money, eating a meager 24 of the prized morsels; just 2 more after the unfortunate incident disrupted his concentration.

Asked by reporters about Weiner's claim that he grabbed Weiner's weiner and scarfed down on it, Chestnut replied that, "when he is in the heat of battle, he's apt to grab anything resembling a hot dog." Looking over his shoulder at the despondent ex-congressman, he added; "I knew I made a mistake immediately. It tasted liked one of those little smoked cocktail weiners you see at bar mitzvahs."

"Next year I will try to make it up to the congressman by spotting him 10 hotdogs and my weiner on the side."

Mr. Chestnut and his former rival. Takeru Kobayashi, who left Major League Eating in 2010, are now tied with six wins a piece.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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