Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 15 June 2012

image for Rush Limbaugh Says That He Has Never Received A Massage From John Travolta
V.P. Joe Biden said if all the cigars Rush has smoked were laid in a line end-to-end it would be one nasty-smelling line.

NEW YORK CITY - Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh responded to John Travolta massage innuendos by saying he is so angry he is fit to be tied.

"El Rusho" caught himself and stated, "Ah make that mad. I'm as mad as a wet hen. Ah, make that as mad as a damn wet rooster for goodness sakes."

Sinclair Petaluma with The Political Salad Bar asked him why in the world he was so flustered.

Limbaugh, 61, replied that he is fed up with every time he turns around someone is making insinuations about him and this guy, or that fella, or that dude.

"Old Trout Mouth" made it known that he has never in his life even touched a male on his nose much less on his (BLANK).

He then confessed that he did come close once back in Missouri, when he was 9, and he and little Willie Whipafino, 10, went behind his grandmother's barn and talked about playing "You touch mine and I'll touch yours."

But he is quick to add that they never did because his grandmother called him to go help her unload the new butter churn from the pickup truck.

Petaluma asked him to address the story that appeared in the supermarket tabloid Say What? that was written by Chauncey Tarbutton that stated that on May 13, he and John Travolta were allegedly seen entering The Cleopatra's Barge Hotel in Brooklyn at 2:35 a.m.

The two were then seen leaving the hotel seven hours later and photos clearly show a figure that appears to be Limbaugh with a 12-inch cigar in his mouth walking hand-in-hand with a figure that appears to be John Travolta smiling from ear-to-ear like the Coney Island cat that swallowed the Crown Heights canary.

"Tubby" as Michele Obama refers to Limbaugh, angrily replied that he has never received anything from Travolta and that includes a massage.

The GOP radio talk show host insisted that the photos showing him and Johnny were photoshopped.

He then said that the interview was over because he had to go to Tiffany's and buy his wife some more damn jewelry to keep her little caboose happy.

In Scientific News. Marine biologists are still extremely puzzled and trying to figure out how in the world a 4 ton Orca whale entered the Mississippi River in New Orleans and managed to swim up the river all the way to Cairo, Illinois, a distance of 488 miles without being detected.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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