Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 11 June 2012

image for Mitt Romney Denies That He Used To Own A Nudist Colony
A photo of The Happy Heinies Nudist Colony golf course in Kissimmee, Florida. (Photo courtesy of Pamela Anderson).

NARRAGANSETT, Rhode Island - The former governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney brought his "Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour" to the town that Peruvian poet Claudio Cuervo made famous in his "Ode To My Second Wife Mimosa's Mirthfully Merry Narragansett."

Romney was greeted by well-wishers who had signs written in six different languages including one written in Iroquois.

He told the crowd that he considers the state of Rhode Island to be his third home, behind his beloved Michigan and his beloved Massachusetts.

The crowd screamed out in jubilant happiness "THIRD HOME! THIRD HOME! THIRD HOME!"

He told the assembled throng of at least 37, that when he is elected president he promises to relocate some of the factories that are currently in President Obama's home state of Illinois to Rhode Island.

The crowd screamed out in joyful joy as if they were at a New York Yankees - Boston Red Sox game.

Romney was asked by Savannah Bamboo with The Political Salad Bar about the breaking story that will be appearing in an upcoming issue of Political Drive Thru Window Magazine.

The story written by Mistletoe Bulova states that a high ranking United States admiral from West Virginia, Rear Admiral Atlas P. Dragonroot, III, allegedly has proof that Mitt Romney once owned a nudist colony down in Kissimmee, Florida.

The GOP candidate turned as white as a sheet of laser paper. He spilled his Diet Pepsi and replied that he has never heard of Admiral Atlas Dragonroot, III, nor the town of Kissimmee, and that he certainly does not recall ever having owned a nudist colony.

Miss Bamboo said that she had 13 photos that clearly showed a sign with the words "Welcome To The Happy Heinies Nudist Colony - Owned and Operated by Mitt Romney Since 1978."

Romney looked at all 13 photos and said that they all appeared to be photoshopped. He pointed out that three of the photos clearly showed half a dozen nude women who were wearing what appeared to be Democratic jewelry.

The former governor of Massachusetts remarked that if he did own a nudist colony he certainly would not have put his name on the nudist colony sign for everyone to see.

In Sports News. One of the owners of the Boston Celtics, Crawford Y. Goldenbiffy was asked if the ownership is still planning on moving the team down to Mobile, Alabama as Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly has reported. Goldenbiffy rolled his eyes and replied with a comment of "No comment."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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