Written by Morgan Truce
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Friday, 12 May 2006

image for Bush Taps Phone Line of Wealthy Houston Family
"Little George knows how I love roses..."

WASHINGTON DC (AP) Washington is abuzz with reports that the Bush Administration has instructed the National Security Agency to tap into the phone line of a well-known Houston family. While administration spokespersons initially denied all early reports, it soon became clear the target of the phone tap was none other than Barbara Bush - the President's own mother!

The White House was in total disarray as reporters tried to find out all the details of how President Bush came to suspect that his mother was a threat to the security of the United States. Appearing in the White House press briefing room, a very tired-looking Scott McClellan said, "Listen fellas, this story will probably be the last time that I will be called up to obfuscate the details of yet another of the President's hair-brained ideas. All I know about this is that it came to the attention of the Central Intelligence Agency that Barbara Bush was linked to a Houston-based Al-Qeada terrorist cell that was planning to sabotage several oil pipelines located in Texas and Louisiana. The President was advised of the situation and he personally approved of the telephone surveillance on his mother."

Reporter Helen Thomas: "Do you know if President Bush has any other Mother's Day gifts in mind?"

Scott McClellan: "No, the President does not share his gift list with me. I am just so tired of all this… I only wish this story did not break until next week when Tony Snow takes over this miserable job."

Reporter Sam Donaldson: "Is it true that President Bush has requested the Justice Department to bring Barbara Bush up on charges of espionage and treason?"

Scott McClellan: "I'm not aware of that, but I'm sure the President loves his mother very much."

Reporter Morgan Truce: "Could you then tell us what is the purpose of that gallows that is being constructed in the Rose Garden?"

Scott McClellan: "Gallows? Oh, you must mean the new rose arbor. President Bush will be dedicating it to his mother on Mother's Day. The President's parents will be flying in from Texas for the ceremony. I hope all of you will be able to see it…"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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