Written by Lyndon
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Monday, 4 June 2012

image for Cannibals outraged at media's coverage of zombie attack
Poppo will need some major work in the coming weeks

MIAMI, Fl. - Cannibals from all over the United States and the world have registered their complaints that the media coverage following an attack in Miami is unfairly depicting cannibalism as an act committed on a living person.

A cannibal is defined as a person who eats the flesh of another person. The word has also been adapted as a term used for any animal that devours a member of its species. In virtually every case registered on Wikipedia (Wiki doesn't lie), the "another person" is dead.

Cannibals argue that Rudy Eugene, who was recently shot by police while biting at the face of Ronald Poppo, was, in fact, not a cannibal, but a goddamned zombie.

Poppo, 65, was for his part very much alive at the time, screaming, yelling, and generally carrying on as one does when his fucking face is being bitten off by a naked zombie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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