Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 13 May 2012

image for Mitt Romney Gets Outsmarted By A Blue-Haired 98-Year-Old Woman In A Walker
98-year-old Effie May Maycullen on her way to hear Mitt Romney speak at The Old Milwaukee Brewery.

MILWAUKEE - GOP presidential front runner Mitt Romney was in Milwaukee speaking at a meeting of The Hops and Malt Adders at the Old Milwaukee Brewery.

Romney told the crowd that when he is elected president he will see to it that more beer breweries are built in Milwaukee even though he personally does not drink beer or any type of alcoholic beverage since he considers it to be a sin.

He quickly added that no one should feel bad for drinking beer since there are some people who are addicted to other things like cigarettes, Hostess Twinkies, chocolate covered pretzels, mustard, and even water.

Romney took the time to once again stress that he is against having two people of the same gender getting married. He pointed out that he does not give a hoot in hell if same gender people date but only as long as it is on the weekends and then only at night.

He was asked what he would do if he found out that one of his children wanted to marry a person of the same gender. He grinned as he took a sip of his A&W Root Beer and replied, "Well, I guess that I would sit him or her down and tell him or her that daddy and mommy love you but we don't like your fiancé or your fiancée, whichever the case may be."

A blue-haired old lady in the fifth row booed. Romney called her up to the podium. Since she was in a walker four men picked the walker up and transported her up to the stage in front of where Romney stood.

He asked her for her name and age. She replied that her name was Effie May Maycullen and that she was 98. Romney then asked her if she was a lesbianite. She replied that she wasn't. He then asked her if she was a closet lesbianite. And again she answered that she wasn't.

A puzzled Romney then asked her why she had booed him when he had mentioned that he was against two persons of the same gender getting married.

Effie May started laughing and said that she had not booed him for his statement but that she had booed because she was trying to shoo away a bumblebee that had wandered into the auditorium.

Romney turned red as the audience started laughing and clapping. He reached in his pocket and took out a $20 bill and told Effie May to have dinner on him.

Effie May smiled and asked, "Mr. Romney sir, could I have another $20 so that I can bring along my life long partner, I mean my next door neighbor Agatha Drumfliggle?"

He took out another $20 and handed it to her and asked her who she planned on voting for in November.

Effie May grinned and said that she was going to vote for President Obama because he has said that he is for individuals of the same gender getting married.

Romney quickly reached to take the two twenties back but Effie May quickly put them in her bra.

A Friendly Reminder. May 18, is National Have A Stimulating Conversation Day, except in Rhode Island.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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