Written by Chrissy Benson
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Tuesday, 24 April 2012

image for Ron Paul Solves Jobs Crisis: 4-Day Work-Week!
NYC resident Joel Greene says he could roll with a four-day work-week.

In a flash of insight he calls divine inspiration, presidential hopeful Ron Paul singlehandedly discovered the solution to the nation's current job crisis: scaling down the work-week from five days to four.

"It's so obvious!" exclaimed Paul to joyful supporters in Detroit, Michigan. "In fact, it's incredible no one's thought of it before. We'll have more than enough jobs if people work only four days a week."

However, not all Americans were ready to embrace Paul's proposed job-boosting solution. Some had hard questions for the candidate regarding the details of the four-day week.

"What I want to know is, do we get to pick the four days?" asked Regina Delaney of Oakland, California. "Because four days or no four days, I ain't working on a Saturday, I'll tell you that."

Others expressed concern at what they would do with an additional day of free time.

"Hopefully the networks will step in and come up with some better daytime TV for that extra day off," remarked Cal Bronson of Raleigh, North Carolina. "They probably will, but I'd like to know exactly what new shows are scheduled before I give a final yea or nay."

By contrast, some Americans wholeheartedly welcomed the notion of a statutorily imposed three-day weekend.

"He's freaking brilliant," pronounced long-time supporter and admitted slacker, Joel Greene of New York City. "He's got my vote. That is, assuming I get out of bed in time to make it to the polls."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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