A local man converted to Christianity this morning following an accident in his sitting room.
Mr Ethelred Verbatim says the incident happened around 6.45am as he was preparing to go to work.
"I nipped into the sitting room to put the telly on to see that Carol Kirkwood do a weather forecast," says Mr Verbatim, 47, of Isandlwana Close. "I always like to get an idea what the weather's going to be.
"Anyway I hadn't put my shoes on yet and as I turned away from the telly I stubbed the little toe on my left foot on the coffee table leg, really hard.
"'Jesus Christ!' I screamed. 'Charming!' Said my missus, 'I take it you'll be coming to church with me on Sunday then?'"
Mr Verbatim adds that after the initial pain he recovered from the shock and went to work as normal.
Spokespeople for the Church of England and the Roman Catholic Church declined to comment.