Bush Sells More U.S. Cities

President George "Dubbya" Bush was accused this morning in the New York Times, for arranging to sell U.S. cities to Islamic nations for large sums of cash, oil and a lifetime supply of pretzels. Suspicions arose after the Associate Mess; an underground world newspaper released an article accusing Bush of signing a deal with Saudi Arabia to sell New York City to the country for six hundred and sixty six billion dollars.
"This is an incredibly severe situation," stated Connor Dalton, director for the National Security Agency following the criticism, "Bush would be giving terrorist paradigms the cities of their dreams, there would be slaughter beyond human comprehension"
Bush quickly refuted the claims and stated, "There is no such agency or such treaties. Lies, these are lies."
Bush has several reasons to be impeached of course, including the now famous Abu-Gharab prison scandal in which Bush whole-heartedly promoted torture of prisoner detainees.
"It's a frightening situation" Dalton stated, "When your President not only promotes rudimentary terrorist ideals but sells them their targets, it's a scary situation for any American citizen"
A Gallop Poll released on the 7th asked American's if they were worried that this would spark a future terror attack against American targets. 98% of the people responded yes and 2% responded no. Many American's felt uneasy about this, believing that terrorists would turn the cities into a wasteland which preached Islamic ideals. "Suicide bombers would tear the streets of Chicago just like the streets of Baghdad. They would be in control of some of the most economic cities in the world and would use citizens as peasants for slave labor"
Slave labor, suicide bombings and economic control seem the least of the concerns as Americans fear that terrorists may use the cities to gain control of nuclear, chemical and biological weapons. "It would be the most frightening scenario. Terrorists hijacking chemical and nuclear plants and biological storage houses" Dalton remarked.
Bush is accused of trying to sell not only New York City but also Chicago, Miami, Los Angeles and Pittsburgh. Political analyst Henry O' Thomas stated to The Spoof, "The deal is expected to be worth roughly three trillion dollars". To put that in prospective that is almost 40 times the worth of Bill Gates.