Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Mitt Romney

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Mitt Romney issued a statement today denying that he never said at a closed meeting of supporters that Rick Santorum dressed up in his mother's clothes when in high school.

"What I said," stated Romney," was that I heard he dressed up in his mother's clothes."

Romney paused before continuing, "And I never ever said that when his parents expected he might be gay that they made him put a baby aspirin between his teeth when he went out with friends. Opposition research CAN make mistakes and family and friends can exaggerate the facts as they know them. In fact, I never believed that Rick clubbed a litter of puppies to death thinking they were baby seals. I'm sure he thought he was doing the right thing."

Romney closed with the following: "And I want to put to rest the rumor that Rick was banned from hanging around school playgrounds in his home town of Scranton, Pennsylvania. This is America, after all, and there is a constitutional amendment defending the right of assembly. I can't tell you why he had a pocketful of candy in his pocket when apprehended; maybe he has a sweet tooth. It all boils down to the fact, what kind of person do you want for your president."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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