Written by anthonyrosania
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 18 February 2012

image for Dead Junkie Snarls Traffic In Newark, NJ
And IIIIIIIIIIIIIII... Am dead. Too soon? (Hilarious comedian John Tosar wrote the joke. I just stole it.)

Those who are compelled to drive through the streets of Newark, whether to go to work, buy cheap meth, or --God forbid-- go home will find traffic ground hopelessly to a halt, this is in the wake of a funeral for a known drug abuser who died last weekend.

This story is clearly not about Whitney...
... Houston, whose corpse also happens to be Exhibit A at a funeral today. Houston, who died Saturday, was never a drug abuser, and certainly would not be host to a funeral in scuzzy ol' Newark.


"F**k," cried 46-year-old D'Frountdowr D'Ainntclosed, who lives in only-slightly-less-shitty Nutley, NJ. "Alls I wanted to do is finish work, use my Families First card to buy malt liquor and a handjob, and go to bed."

"This is some bullsh!t," he concluded, before robbing and savagely beating another man in frustration. 

Make anthonyrosania's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 2?

6 4 2 5

Go to top