Written by JAB
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Topics: China, Joseph Biden

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

image for Biden Insults China's Vice President Xi Jinping
WAI SO DIM

WASHINGTON --- Vice President Xi Jinping expected to be leader of China in 2013, arrived in Washington today and was greeted by Vice President Joe Biden. After meeting in the Roosevelt Room at the White House, they had lunch in the State Dining Room with their respective wives and aides.

Officials, aware of blunders made during President Hu Jintao's visit in 2002, had gone to extreme measures to make sure Mr. Xi's visit would have no similar problems.

Well aware of Vice President Biden's gaffes of 'putting his foot in his mouth', every effort was made to "keep him under control." According to sources, Mr. Biden took it upon himself to read "Chinese for Dummies" to try and make Vice President Xi feel "at home."

Firsthand accounts of those at the lunch, say, "Relations with China may never recover as long as Joe Biden is Vice President of the United States."

The Vice President, with his wife Jill, initiated small talk in 'Chinese' with Vice President Jinping and his wife, Peng Liyuan.

On being introduced to Ms. Peng, Mr. Biden said, "Yu stin ki pu, chin tu fat, wai yu mun ching?" Taken aback but maintaining her composure, she asked Biden, how President Obama was doing. Biden pleased with his beginner's 'Chinese', smiled, saying, "Dum fuk, lei ying lo, wa shing ka."

Trying to console his wife and change the subject at the same time, Vice President Jinping complimented Mr. Biden on his being such a gracious host. "Fa kin su pa," said the grinning Vice President, continuing, "now my good friend Xi, what is it I can do for you?" "A Stoli with a twist would be fine, Joe, said Mr. Xi." "Once upon a time in a neat little cottage there lived three bearsÂ…," started Biden, grinning from ear to ear.

No comment from President Obama, "he's having Chinese takeout," said an aide.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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