Former President George W. Bush and Current President Brack H. Obama was pulled over today by D.C. police after running a red light. Officer Porker reportedly pulled over their car as it was traveling westbound on Constitution Ave as it crossed 17th Street.
Officer Porker made the following statement at a press conference, "I witnessed a orange 1983 Yugo driving well below the speed limit. My initial reaction was that the two occupants, one white male driver and one black male passenger were either lost or looking for prostitutes or drugs." Officer Porker continued by saying, "At first I wasn't going to pull the car over, I was just going to keep an eye on them but as they drove up to the light at 17th street they failed to yield and drove right through the intersection while they had a red light."
Officer Porker who has been a police officer for more than 15 years admitted to this reporter that he felt a little intimidated when he realized that he had just pulled over the current and former President of the United States. He was so concerned that he called his boss Chief of DC police Cathy Lanier to supervise. When Chief Lanier arrived she noticed a slight smell of marijuana coming from the car, a bottle of Visine in the consol, some open containers of peppermint schnapps, 40oz malt liquor bottles, and dozens of empty boxes of White Castle Hamburgers covering the floorboards. Chief Lanier and Officer Porker immediately speculated that the President and former President were under the influence of intoxicants.
Both President Obama and former President Bush, were required to take a field sobriety test. According to several witnesses both of them seemed to be having a lot of difficulty following directions. One witness even claimed to see the two Presidents flashing gang signs at the officers and cars as they drove by.
Chief Lanier and officer Porker reported that after several tense minutes into their investigation, a black colored van pulled up where six men armed with automatic assault riffles hurried both President into the van and then drove away.
According to Muhamed Aljazera a taxi driver, Chief Lanier and Officer Porker stood there dumb founded for several minutes after the Presidents were whisked away.
We have tried to contact the Whitehouse and ask them what in the world the President and former President were doing driving around in a Yugo, but the only answer we could get was, "We have no knowledge of what you are talking about."
We also tried contacted Chief Lanier and she reported to us, "this entire incident is still under investigation and as of now we are not in a position to divulge anymore information than that."