Written by Ellie James
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Tuesday, 24 January 2012

image for Yeti Lobster Spotted in Key West
This man claims to have seen the Yeti Lobster while filling up his jeep with gas.

Everyone has heard of the Yeti, the hairy bipedal creature who is said to live in the colder regions on Earth. While scientists can't say for certain if the Yeti actually exists, they have come to the conclusion that there is such a creature as the Yeti Lobster.

Once thought to be elusive, the hairy crustacean has been sited in the crowded beaches of South Florida as well as in lagoons off of Key West.

A month ago, Lars Johansaan, 54, was bussing tables in Key West, Florida when he spotted the fleecy arthropod tying unsuspecting patron's shoes together at the Turtle Kraals Restaurant and Bar.

"It was strange, "stated Johansaan, "all of a sudden costumers would fall over after trying to get up. And I saw this fuzzy looking lobster with a pen in his hand. He had written a note. It said 'Arthropods are better than reptiles.' Then he scurried away. No one else saw him."

A few weeks later, the Yeti Lobster was spotted after closing in a dive bar off Duval Street singing bad karaoke to Jimmy Buffett. Witnesses say that they walked past a vacant bar just as the fuzzy beast was singing Margaritaville.

Jimmy Stallings, a local artist said of the lobster, "Not too bad, really. I really liked how he made the song his own." Stallings and his friends said that as soon as the elusive lobster saw them his eyes got wide and his claws pointed at them, and then he ran out the back.

There haven't been Yeti Lobsters in Key West this past week; however, a volunteer at Manatee Watch in Key Largo stated that she might have seen it while feeding lettuce to the manatees during her lunch break.

Authorities will not confirm or deny any of these events to actually be the Yeti Lobster. However, they urge people to approach white hairy lobsters with caution and call local law enforcement.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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