Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Sunday, 22 January 2012

image for Newt Gingrich Reveals Special Origin of Unusual Name
This is what a Newt Looks Like

Newt Gingrich has tonight revealed the origins of his unusual name. This revelation is set to amuse many, and may shine a light on the dark years of Newt's life when he went missing in the rural countryside of Great Britain.

During the late 1970s David Gingrich, as he was then known, became very interested in conservation, and he joined a group run by Ex Mayor of London, Red Ken Livingstone called "Save the Newt". This group's main purpose was to sit in people's gardens and stop herons and seagulls from eating the tiny British pond lizard.

The group was so successful that they saved 2 million newts, became national heroes, and came to the attention of the Queen.

The Queen was so impressed with their efforts that she felt she had to reward them in some way. So Red Ken was Knighted and David Gingrich was Newted. The Queen said "I now declare you a Newt of the British Empire, and I want you to go forth and spread the word about Newt conservationism"

Newt kept his word and still gives the occasional interview to "Newt News From Dorking", which comes out every Tuesday. In his most recent interview he was asked if politics was anything like Newt conservation. He answered "Yes, but the world of politics I now frequent is full of lizards who aren't as friendly as the lovely newts I knew in the 70s in Great Britain, and they're also a lot slimier too.

By Katarina Frogpond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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