Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Dogs, Arizona, Law, Jan Brewer

Saturday, 14 January 2012

image for Arizona Enacts One Of The Toughest Leash Laws In America
The state of Arizona will be putting an end to scenes like the one above. (Photo by Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio).

PHOENIX - The governor of Arizona Jan Brewer acting on thousands of complaints from citizens of the state who say that Arizona needs a leash law has just signed into law Arizona Leash Law LL-13.

The governor said that she just got sick and tired of getting so many complaints in the form of emails, text messages, tweets, phone calls, letters, and even two singing telegrams that she just finally decided to put her right foot down and do something about the situation.

The law came about due to the fact that there were just too many people letting their dogs roam around at will.

One town, the bordertown of Nogales, had reported that there was one neighborhood were loose dogs were so rampant that the letter carriers refused to deliver the mail.

One U.S. mail carrier who gave his name as Sheridan F. Swizzlewater reportedly stated that the situation had gotten so bad that three or four times a week his postal truck would get a flat tire due to a dog biting the tires.

Swizzlewater pointed out that once a Doberman Pinscher actually jumped into his mail truck and ate about 27 letters before he could beat the dog away with a J.C. Penney Catalog.

Governor Brewer stated that there are some who will say that the leash law may be a little harsh but to them she says "You should have controlled your dog before the damn situation went all to hell."

The new leash law reads: Effective 02/02/12, the great state of Arizona, home of the Grand Canyon, the NBA Phoenix Suns, the NFL Arizona Cardinals, and the MLB Arizona Diamondbacks will be enacting Arizona Leash Law LL-13.

This law states that any dog owner who allows his or her dog to run around without benefit of a leash will be subject to being apprehended by local law enforcement officers and both owner and dog will be tasered.

We mean business. And we do have the complete and total backing of the Arizona attorney general. Thank you and muchas gracias. And please remember to pick up after you dog.

Maricopa Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio, who is a staunch supporter of Governor Jan Brewer, stated that any citizen of Arizona who does not like the new leash law can pack up and move to New Mexico.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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