Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Iowa

Monday, 2 January 2012

image for Cowboys And Aliens And Politicians At The Iowa Caucus

It is difficult to distinguish between the cowboys and politicians, but the aliens are clearly set apart. When a politician can't remember three out of three departments he wants to eliminate once he is elected president, his mind has definitely been taken over by aliens. When a politician starts sobbing when discussing his mother, (oh boy) aliens have him too.

But when a politician coyly refuses to release his tax records, (after making millions taking over companies, firing employees and offering their jobs back at lower pay and without benefits - health care) the aliens don't have him; greed do. And one of his goofy sons smirks: My papa will show his tax returns when Obama shows his birth certificate. Come to papa do.

Inspired by the History channel's Ancient Aliens, Hollywood produced an imaginative film titled, Cowboys And Aliens, starring 007's Daniel Craig. The guy can act and is convincing as an American cowboy in the tradition of lonely rider Clint Eastwood. He is armed with the alien's cuff/bracelet that works better than one of Obama's drones. Or maybe another explanation is possible.

Break for commercial.

The Ancient Alien theory is promoted by a group of the most unscientific looking cast from Kathy Griffin's D-List. If you're going to promote a theory that angels were really ancient aliens, wear a tie and not a bolo. Also, lose the shoulder length hair style, or get a shampoo. But perhaps another explanation might be possible.

Break for commercial.

Seems ancient aliens came down to earth in space ships, distracted the natives by helping them erect pyramids, (oh boy) while secretly sucking up all the gold from the planet using their rocket technology. There are remains of a gold mine in South Africa that dates back over a hundred thousand years. Also, the pyramids in Egypt and Mexico are lined up with the Orion constellation. Why isn't this headlines? Perhaps there is an explanation.

Break for commercial.

There isn't a Daniel Craig type among the Republican contenders. Just the quiet guy in the White House silently waiting. Or maybe there is another explanation...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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