Written by Draconian Clown
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Topics: Christmas, Family

Thursday, 2 February 2006

image for He said Broom not Boom
Beloved Broom

Guillermo Martinez* had a big loving family and enjoyed big meals. After big meals, he would sweep up with a big broom. On one terrible Christmas night, he threw his beloved broom at US Border Patrol agents and they shot him 171 times.

Researches are concerned about the possible spread of Bi-Polar Broom Obsession after this, yet another, Latino male suffered a fatal shooting from US Agents over a broom.

We spoke to Captain Bubba-Joe Davis about this latest killing of an insane Latino male.

"He was yelling and throwing rocks at us. Maybe he was yelling and throwing brooms at us, too. But he was yelling and he was yelling BOOM. No one, not even an insane Latino can yell BOOM at a US Agent. Our training won't allow that."

Vicente Fox, Mexican President and well-known Latino male Peacock, has been quoted as saying, "the USA has taken away everything from us except our brooms. But we cannot say the word broom in English because of our issues with the silent R."

Capt. BJ disagrees, "I have heard them say BEER. They had no trouble doing Rs on that and I don't think we shoot people for yelling BEE. We wrestle people to the ground and TASER them for yelling BEE but our training demands we shoot people who yell BOOM at us. You gotta take a yeller going BOOM down hard. He's a ticking bomb."

But should the US Agents being shooting BOOM yellers so many times?

Capt BJ clarifies the lethal force policy, "A BOOM yeller is an awful a threat to public safety. We are trained to stop threats and to like the sound of guns. Look buddy, what else goes BOOM but a ticking bomb?"
Officials are currently investigating the possible links between Latino Male Peacocks, brooms and the silent R. "There does seem to be a connection between people yelling BOOM and actual explosions."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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