Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Herman Cain

Thursday, 1 December 2011

image for Herman Cain's Alleged Mistress:  "The Next Moment She Be Jumpin My Bones"
Bobo The Detective

ZOO CENTRAL - Bobo is no ordinary chimp. True, like most young chimps, he loved swinging from vines and smacking his lips while hanging out in the jungles of Africa during his formative years. He might have been a little smarter than most simians. But after accidentally swallowing a microbe found inside a rotting tree stump, his brain was amplified, allowing him to communicate with other animal life; thereby becoming as close to being human as say, your average pot smoking, dim sum sucking, free silver loving Occupier; in layman's terms, a quasi anthropopatheist.

However you slice it, Bobo did quite well for himself, becoming a private detective known to both lawmen and felons as Bobo the Detective Chimp; quite an appellation for an ape who was only 3 and 1/2 feet tall and weighing 68 pounds.

Over a ten year period, Bobo solved numerous run-of-the-mill crimes, ranging from the strangulation of a pygmy dwarf by a love-sick Burmese Python, to corralling unfaithful husbands acting out their indignation after having been cuckolded by their pinch-mouth prude wives.

It was Bobo's name that popped up when Herman Cain was searching for someone to "get the goods" on Ginger "Snapper" White, the lady from Atlanta who claims Herman was popping her pelvis for the past 13 years. With Herman Cain seemingly surprised that he had been accused of scoring inside the red zone instead of sexual harrassment, it would be up to Bobo to check out Ginger Snapper's bona fides.

Having linked up with Rex the Wonder Dog as part of the Shadowpact, an offshoot of The Huntsman's Hellhound Pack, Bobo was aware of the dawn-to-dusk rendezvous between Ginger and Ephaseus Zephyr Jones that was circumvented by Rex the Wonder Dog jumping on their bed while Ephaseus was hovering just above Ginger's "poontang", as Ephaseus so described:

"It be sumpen to behold" exclaimed the slightly whacked out Ephaseus "Zep" Jones. "One moment she be scratchen on my screen. The next moment she be jumpin my bones."

"Tank the Lord for dat dog. He save my black ass. Wat was dat doggies name?"

Bobo the Chimp Detective: "That was no mere dog. That was Rex the Wonder Dog!"

"RUFF! RUFF! AND AWAY!"

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