Written by Lyndon
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Friday, 4 November 2011

image for Herman Cain not interested in 'small insignificant states' unless they're bombing us
Cain vowed he'd learn the name of every president in the Middle East if they threatened to bomb our ass.

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Herman Cain has taken a slight lead in the Republican nomination contest, but is currently the leader by a large margin in the Gaffe Factor.

When asked who the president of Uzbekistan was, Cain replied, "When they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan, I'm going to say, you know, I don't know."

When reporters pointed out that the U.S. may need to negotiate supply routes to Afghanistan through the former Soviet republic because of U.S.-Pakistan tensions, Cain quipped, "If Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan decides to bomb us at home, then I'll know who it is, because that makes it a domestic issue.

"But until then, I want to focus on the big issues that we need to solve, like for example, these goddamn women who keep saying I harassed them in the last century."

Uzbeki President Islam Karimov, who has been accused of boiling dissidents alive, was asked if he planned to take any action against the U.S. presidential candidate.

Karimov replied, "Why should I? With his talk of electifying Mexicans, his treatment of women, and his mispronunciation of my country, Mr. Cain has, how do you Americans say?, cooked his own goose."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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