Written by Kid Icarus
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Topics: Halloween, criminals

Sunday, 30 October 2011

image for Halloween Monsters Really Do Exist
Erin Bauman a.k.a. "Monster" is upset she can't hand out candies on Halloween.

With Halloween around the corner society has come to the realization that monsters may really be lurking out on Halloween night. Communities around Los Angeles plan to take action to protect children from real life monsters also known as offenders.

County Supervisor Mike Gardner said, "People don't realize that there are hundreds of John Wayne Gacy's, and Ted Bundy's handing out candy to unsuspecting children.

An ordinance was passed by Riverside County to prevent offenders from opening the door to trick-or-treaters on Halloween. They are also not allowed to turn on their lights or put up Halloween decorations.

Erin Bauman who is originally from Houston, but now lives in Los Angeles and who served time in a Houston prison for attacking a 13 year old girl said she is angry that she isn't allowed to hand out candies on Halloween. "I would never take a bag of snickers bit size chocolate bars in their wrappers and touch each bar to my genitalia before throwing them in a basket, so I could hand them out to trick-or-treaters because that is not who I am." complains Bauman.

County Supervisor Mike Gardner said it's perfectly normal for murders, car thieves, arsonist, burglars, political assassins, extortionist, racist, gangsters, and city council members to open their doors to trick-or-treaters.

The cities of Orange and San Jacinto also have similar ordinances.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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