Written by Alvin Taveras
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Wednesday, 26 October 2011

image for Herman Cain Promises To Make Memories For America Fresh and Produce and Smokey

GEORGIA - It's been one week since the last GOP debate embarrassed Americans politically with the choice of its GOP candidates. It's been less than twenty-four hours that Herman Cain and team decided to do something about it.

The Cain team has continually brainstormed for many hours on days to figure out how they could put Cain's face on people's television tubes, flat panels, and Microsoft's XBox 360.

Mark Block, Cain's chief strategist, had a commercial idea that manifested itself virally on all computers, smartphones, and wherever people talk about politics shops. Block decided it would be best if Cain allowed him to take a pull from the cigarette and blow the smoke into the camera to suddenly have a black face appear behind the smoke as the smoke leaves the room while playing 'I love America,' by Krista Branch.

GOP pundits question the relevance of the cigarette being smoked by Mark Block but Democrats are excited and look forward counting on foolishness just like that to contend against their incumbent candidate. However, neither know how the commercial relates to fresh and produce other than the smoke being used as a metaphor and that Cain is calling his third version of the tax plan 'fresh and produce.'

Meanwhile, Tobacco companies have recently contributed more money to Herman Cain's campaigns as long as he continues to play product placement with him in his commercials, emails, and frozen pizzas. They even suggested making a commercial with a pizza eater smoking cigarettes but Block dismissed it because it didn't include he and his mustache.

In related news, Herman Cain wants to lift smoking bans everywhere in America because it pays to do so.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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