Written by Alvin Taveras
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Friday, 21 October 2011

image for Rick Perry Vowed to Freeze Romney's Assets if He Touched Him Again

LAS VEGAS - What happened in Vegas will always carry with you. So says Rick Perry, the lagging Republican primary presidential candidate, who knew about that principle before he was governor of Texas. Perry brought athlete's foot back to Texas during a spa stay at the Mirage.

However, part of the problem here is that many Americans don't know that Texas Governors automatically get honorary bids to be President. They also don't understand that Texans cannot settle for second place. It's like comparing SEC College football to Big Ten football. It's never a contest ever. (See George W. Bush)

Mitt Romney, former Governor of Massachusetts, the most annoying state to spell, knows nothing else besides his state, California, and Utah. The closest thing he knows about the South is through Big Ten vs. SEC college football games.

So when Mitt Romney reached over into Rick Perry's space and brushed his shoulder with Mitt's very hands, Rick was furiously flabbergasted. That was a provocative gesture enough to prosecute someone in the state of Texas possibly by capital punishment.

So to settle the score Rick, being the Governor of Texas he is, called some folks and put them on standby, waiting for the next moment Mitt Romney touches him.

As Rick's campaign manager said it, "Go ahead. Make my day."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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