Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 19 October 2011

image for Obama pans for gold under White House lawn
Wanna see pix of my shiny new smelter in the Old Executive Office Building??

Washington - It's a genius master-stroke by the President, destined to wipe out America's entire trillion-dollar overdraft thanks to soaring world gold bullion prices.

Pictured this week a massive 100ft x 100ft crater off the North Lawn confirms that a feverish Klondike-esque gold rush sparked by the reopening of Kershaw, South Carolina's historic Haile mine has now spread to the White House.

Excavation works on the site opposite the West Wing entrance are projected to yield enough precious metal to bail out the country's staggering debts - and finance 'essential' Presidential family vacations for the next 50 years!

The ancient seam is part of volcanic rock formations containing microscopic gold flecks which recent mining studies have linked directly to what geologists call the Carolina Snake - er...Slate! - Belt, thought to have wound up wannabe prospectors from northern Georgia, the Carolinas and Virginia since the Yukon Gold Rush of the late 19th century.

In a weekly questions and answers session with reporters today President Obama flashed a wide smile showing some of the precious nuggets may already have found a new permanent home in new dental crown implants.

But he refused to speculate on whether bullion-bearing material has been secretly smuggled from the dig via the White House's legendary matrix of subterranean tunnels.

"Every precious gram is accounted for, folk," Obama commented.

"Wanna see pix of my shiny new smelter in the Old Executive Office Building?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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