Written by Alvin Taveras
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Monday, 17 October 2011

image for Rick Santorum promises to show up for the upcoming Republican primary debate

WHEREEVER HE LIVES - Republican Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum has been beyond frustrated that his intention to run for P.O.T.U.S. has not been taken serious enough.

Recent statistics show that all Republican primary presidential candidates have been given more air time except Rick Santorum, who has spoken only twice. In fact, our publication team had to do massive research to figure out who this guy was.

When we asked Michelle Bachman if she knew who Rick Santorum was, she said, "Who? I thought he was some undercover Secret Service agent here to protect us from misfit protestors and Sarah Palin."

Santorum's campaign manager has blamed debate moderators, media agenda, and Herman Cain for the lack of coverage. He added, "None of those guys on that stage looks as handsome as he does. And Herman Cain's pizza sucks!"

Although, studies historically show that Americans vote on looks, Santorum is widely unknown because people think his name is un-American.

CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer played along but deep down knew that Rick Santorum is an undercover Secret Service agent.

Even Herman Cain commented on Santorum's anonymity and told us, "Off the record, Rick Santorum is an undercover Secret agent. Heck, Obama had three on stage, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and Joseph Biden." He added, "Most people don't even know that Biden is a Vice President Undercover Secret Service Agent.

Nevertheless, Rick Santorum ready to show up and act the part in the upcoming debate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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