Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 16 October 2011

image for Governor Rick Perry Hits Back At Herman Cain And Puts The Pizza Dude In His Place
The weather vane located on Rick Perry's La Chupacabra Ranch. (Photo by Eva Longoria).

SAN ANTONIO - Texas Governor Rick Perry was in San Antonio as the guest of honor at an old-fashioned Texas-style barbecue that had been thrown in his honor by San Antonio natives George Strait and David Robinson at the former San Antonio Spurs palatial mansion estate located in The Dominion.

Perry was asked by Woody Velcro of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres, who had been invited by Robinson, about the recent statement that Herman Cain had made that he did not like the name of Perry's ranch.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The name of the ranch which is now La Chupacabra Ranch used to be The (N-word)head Ranch.]

The governor started laughing and said that the ranch had been named over 100 years ago, way before his father had purchased it.

Perry added that the name isn't even registered any longer with The State of Texas Department of Ranch Names Bureau.

He went on to say that he suggests that "Pizza Boy" Cain start minding his own damn business and stop making racially bigoted and agriculturally motivated remarks while he is having breakfast at a Cracker Barrel Restaurant of all places.

Perry repeated the restaurants first name - Cracker. Velcro informed the governor that he was from California and he did not understand the significance of what he was getting at.

"Okay, fair enough my little Left Coast friend." Perry remarked. "Woody, son one of the worst names you can call a white person in the great peach-growing, state of Georgia is a 'Cracker.' It is kinda like calling a black a (BLANK), or a Jew a (BLANK) or a Comanche a (BLANK)."

"Oh, I get it now Gov." Woody said grinning like a hungry squirrel that had just found an open Mason jar filled with walnuts.

"I had a hankerin' datcha would partner."

In a non-related political story. GOP maven Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter has just announced that the rumor that she was moving to the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico is totally false.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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