WASHINGTON (Reuters)-In a major address at a White House news conference, President George Bush urged the approval of Judge Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court since such conservative judges would return America to its 1950s Leave It to Beaver' roots and its ideal family life.
"I and my fellow Republicans fondly recall the time when Daddy worked in the office and Mommy did things in the kitchen," reminisced Bush. "All family relationships were well-ordered and peaceful just like in that TV show Leave It to Beaver.' "
Democrats have attacked Alito as a right wing White House stooge who would help create a fascist America, like other recent Supreme Court appointees. Yet Bush was non-plussed at the resistance.
"We conservatives have spent the last 20 years working to roll back social progress and return America to the 1950s, and people like Sam are fundamental to eliminating rights to privacy, dignity, reproductive freedom and autonomy, especially for women and minorities," explained the president.
"In the 1950s, about 20% of American families lived in poverty, roughly double today's rates," enthused Bush, who said that America must return to that time in order to make the rich even richer. "Child and spousal abuse went unreported," sighed Bush. "Those were the days!"
Alito also actively fights women's constitutionally protected right to equality in the workplace, which women today take for granted, noted Bush.
The judge has repeatedly sought to limit women's right to fight employment discrimination in the courts, even intervening where juries had already found in favor of a woman. He has opposed the affirmative action initiatives that opened closed doors for a generation of women and minorities, and supported a broadened death penalty.
"Alito also wants to kill American right to privacy and human dignity and freedom. For instance, he also had helped the Reagan administration reduce protections against government eavesdropping," noted Bush. "Sam's legal activism has allowed me to illegally and unconstitutionally increase government powers to spy on innocent Americans who question our power."
"I want every American boy and girl to look forward to a Leave It to Beaver' future, and if they don't shape up, we'll send them to Iraq to steal oil or to one of my torture camps," concluded Bush. "Alito's public record shows that he will fight for this grand vision, and has been fighting for it, especially since he has chosen to live in the 1950s 'Leave It to Beaver' America himself rather than the 21st century in which most Americans live."
One reporter asked Bush whether he really wanted to return to the United States portrayed in the 1998 movie ''Pleasantville' in which Tobey Maguire and Reese Witherspoon played typical 1990s children who are accidentally transported into the unreality of a 1950s sitcom like Leave it to Beaver,' with its lack of diversity and tolerance.
"Sure, why not?" responded Bush. "We had unlimited oil back then, cars got only around 8 mpg, and people obeyed their politicians unlike today. We could start wars to steal foreign oil without all this protest and fuss like we have now."