Written by topillogical
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Topics: Barack Obama

Saturday, 8 October 2011

The coverage of the lunatic fringe protest, also known as Occupy Wall Street, started on Fox news. Like few other news stories the Fox creates, it spread to other news outlets. These lunatic protestors are known as the other 99% of the American population.

The other 99% percent of Americans are totally out of touch with reality. It is an epidemic, as some 304 million people seem to be in total disagreement with news pundits.

Shawn Footidy, of Fox puts it "the vast majority of Americans are completely brainwashed by what they see and hear in their everyday lives. That is why us news pundits are needed to tell the American people what reality actually is."

For example, when everydude, Joe Smith was asked "when will we find a compromise in the tax cuts," he replied: "only thing I'm trying to find is a job." This casual dismissal of real issues is common place among the bottom 99%.

To show just how out of touch they are, the bottom 99%-ers have a list of demands: 1: a living wage for all workers. 2: health care for all. 3: punish those who crashed our economy. 4: tax the rich.

In reality, the only economic indicator that actually matters is investor's portfolios.

President Obee, commenting on these new demands, had this to say:
"I know folks are hurting. I know they are worried about their jobs. As an average American, the only thing I'm concerned about is keeping my job too. I will stop playing games after I get rehired in 2012. I must say that I'm a lot less concerned about health care, since my family and I are covered for life."

Billy Oreally points out the fact that "freedom of the press means that I am free from commercial bias, and I am the only person who can represent patriotic hard working Americans."

Heath Youngerman, formally of MSNBC, said he represents the average man because he plays one on TV.

The bankers have to wake up extremely early in the morning to concoct elaborate financial products that will enrich themselves. This is particularly troublesome because most of them have trouble sleeping at night. As trickle down economic theory has proven time and time again, this is exactly how the Average American is so wealthy today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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