President Obama in a special outreach to his core base of voters addressed the Congressional Black Caucus as he continued his non stop Re-Immaculation Campaign (RIC) leading up to the 2012 election.
While acknowledging he didn't speak "Austrian", he said he did take pride in being fluent in 'Ebonics', a handy language he acquired while working in Chicago's 'undeveloped neighborhoods' as a Peace Corp volunteer for Bill Clinton's outreach program, "No Non Native Tribe Left Behind Reparation" campaign.
In his address Obama chided his audience for hanging out at home watchin' Oprah, the Black Shopping Network and reruns of the Cosby Show, instead of getting out the vote.
"I came to tell y'all," he intoned, " it's time to get out yo flip flops and into yo marchin' sho's and take to the streets. And as fo yo who still go barefoot, it's time to loot a pair of Nike Air Jordan's and go to war If y'all luv me, it's time to take back yo streets, send a message, tell them Honkeys in Congress to PASS MY BILL..if y'all don't, and the Tea Party takes over yo gonna be shit outa luck, yo hear me Homeys? The gravy train be over, and y'll be lucky if dey don't ship y'all back home, dig?"
Herman Cain, a black republican Presidential Candidate and successful former CEO of a major company, joined Florida Congressman Allen West an Iraq military officer in saying, "We couldn't understand a fucking word he was saying sounded like a witch doctor who had just emerged from the jungle who had never been in touch with modern civilization! How did this inarticulate activist and alleged Harvard graduate get elected?"
A representative from the Mexican government, who is involved with suing at least 4 US states for tough new immigration laws was outraged!
Said Pacho "Loco" Villa, "this speech was a disgrace, anyone who aspires to be President of the United States should be required to learn and speak English you shouldn't need a translator to listen to the President, or to talk to a Customer Assistant at Banco America!
WTF is your country coming to? Just last week I had to 'press 3? to talk to Eric Holder!"
Said congress woman Maxine Watters, whose ethics case has been tabled by fellow democrats over influence peddling, " I understood most of what he was saying .the more he talked the more I remembered listening to my grandfather as a child I just wonder who he got to write all them foreign ghetto words on that there tel-e-prompter, but at least he didn't call us a bunch of lazy M****F*****s, I'll give the boy that at least!"
White House spokesman Jay Blarney (sic) refused to comment on the President's speech, referring a host of journalists to the Google Ebonics Translator for clarification.