Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: Crime, Riot

Saturday, 27 August 2011

image for Mass Murderers not jailed due to looters taking their places
Well, it is 16 months for you my son.

In news that is bound to scandalise the Daily Mail, it has been revealed that if rioters are imprisoned in the way that they have been, soon proper, hardened criminals may be let back out onto the streets, as prisons are nearly full to bursting.

Justice Lord Snout said 'Send them down. Send them down. Send them down'.

A prisoner, John Swagbag told us: 'It is getting ridiculous. We have fewer proper murderers in and more teenagers. It is not the same. We want to hear proper stories, not how some bloke got thirsty and took a bottle of posh water with all of the moisture taken out, and then does a 20 month stretch. It just is not right'.

A number of crime novelists are said to be working on new volumes based on crimes from the riot, and how a widescreen TV never pays.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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